A stroke or other life-changing events can lead you to question your faith. You may ask: Why me? Why us? Are we being punished?
After reflecting on these questions over and over we have determined that our God is the God of healing and that we have not been singled out. Moreover, we are truly blessed and thankful for the things that we have. When faced with tragedy there is opportunity to grow as a person. You will find that things look different and relishing life becomes more important than ever.
There were times early on when the family questioned how merciful it was for Barb to survive such a significant stroke/brain injury. Now, we have quality in our lives again and turn each day over to the Lord. We can’t imagine life without Barbie. She is so special as a person and as a professional.
During your recovery, you will have to deal with such glib phrases as “I don’t know how you do it.” I’m doing it, so things must be worse than I thought. Or, “God will only give you what you can handle.” Then why does he think we are so strong? Or, ‘Our thoughts and prayers are with you.” Our thoughts and prayers are with you as well.
These are all things that we used to say when we didn’t have major issues, so prepare yourself and understand that the people who are saying these things do care and many will be a resource for you down the road.
Recently, we read an article about Dana Reeves, the deceased wife of the late Christopher Reeves. This Superman couple had it all and was met with tragedy. Yet they dealt with it with class, putting quality back in their family’s life. A quote from Dana was “You play the hand you're dealt.” That sums it up.
One valuable lesson we have learned through our humbling experience: When tragedy strikes, you feel alone and you ask, “Why me?”
What became so clear over time is that it wasn’t just us, we all have issues and that no one in this world is exempt. You tend to think that you have been isolated or you are being punished by God, etc.
The fact is, unfortunately, everyone is going to have a “bad day.” I mean a really bad day, not like a bad hair day or you lost money in the market. We’re talking about life and death issues with your family. No one is exempt.
Additionally, don’t think it can’t get worse, it can. That is why you need to cherish those little things in life that are so precious like:
Britt, our daughter, said it best: “I grew up in Disneyland.” She had no idea what true loss was growing up in such a comfortable environment. Then she goes off to Illinois State University and within 18 months she loses both grandfathers and her mother has a stroke. That’s reality hitting you in the face for a young lady. She has adjusted wonderfully and we are very proud of her maturity.
There were many times in our stroke recovery we were sad or depressed and needed a quick fix for negative thoughts. So we often turned to our faith, reading scripture and praying for strength.
Similarly, Bruce, while walking the beach one day, came up with an antidote that worked for him. He called it “The faith of the four B’s."
No. 1: Truly Believe in yourself and the God within you.
No. 2: Be Proud of where you’ve been and where you’re going. If you’re not, make the adjustments to get back on track.
No. 3: Be Thankful for what you have by focusing on the good stuff in your life.
No. 4: Be Happy by controlling a positive thought process and staying in the moment.